holidays. vacations. weekend getaways. everyone craves a break from the normal and frantic pace of life. that’s why verses like Psalm 46:10, in which God says: “Be still and know that I am God,” seem so refreshing. almost like a day at the beach, a hike through the woods, a nap on a Sunday afternoon or hanging out with your best friend.

but sometimes i’m afraid to be still.

there’s safety in the pace of life. i don’t have to think, i can just react and do what’s necessary to get through whatever comes my way.

but when i’m still i see what’s going on inside me. i see my own hurt. i see my own pain. i see my own sin. and if i’m still long enough, i have to do something about it.

i may cry. i may hurt. i may have to admit i was wrong.

God doesn’t just ask me to be still so i can have a physical or mental break. sometimes His biggest work takes place when i’m still. sometimes the really yucky stuff that i keep shoving aside spills out when i stop.

years ago, a friend asked me how God can be my sanctuary right now. it made me think. i didn’t want to think. i didn’t want to acknowledge how tired i am. how disappointed i amy be. how hurt i feel. i just wanted to keep going. but God said be still.

and so the moment came when i had no other choice but to be still. thoughts and feelings that i had hoped would just go away erupted. i couldn’t ignore them any longer.

part of being still and “knowing” that He is God is trusting God with all the stuff i don’t want to bother Him or anyone else with.

when i’m still, it’s not always a feel-good, mental vacation. sometimes being still is a painful reality of what’s going on inside me, not the facade i keep up. it’s ugly and it doesn’t always make sense. but it’s real, and it’s a reminder that i need to surrender all of my life to God—not just the stuff i choose. when i do, He truly becomes my sanctuary.

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