From my last post, you know that two weeks ago, I plowed my car into the back of another one. Everyone was fine. No injuries. Well, except for my Honda which had a busted light and banged up side.
I’m a perfectionist. I like to do things right. I like to say things well. I realize that can’t always happen, in fact, I may not be doing such a great job now. At least that’s the thought that is running in the back of my head. So I’m not an arrogant perfectionist. Probably more of a neurotic one.
Which is why this next statement goes against how I’m wired—I’m glad I got in a wreck two weeks ago.
Seriously. I know, it’s crazy.
But I haven’t felt this close to God in a long time.
My life has been the equivalent of the Israelites wandering in the wilderness for the past five years. It’s been a long, dry, barren place. There have been moments of relief, like an oasis. But for the most part, I’ve operated more on what I know than what I feel. And honestly, sometimes I’ve had some major junk in my heart and head because of that.
But on May 27, my car crunched and grace poured out from my twin boys and my wife all the way home. While I tried to beat myself up, they were building me up.
The next day, when I woke up to the overwhelming feel of “What do I do now?” and “How am I going to pay for this?” God whispered in my ear, “I’ll give you exactly what you need when you need it.” Just like He gave the Israelites manna and quail every day with just what they needed for that day, God promised me that day that He would give me just what I needed when I needed it—no more, no less.
God keeps His promises.
He provided wisdom. My cousin, Skip, who repairs cars in Ellijay, gave me advice on what I needed to do next. He even offered to repair the car so I could use someone I trusted, but I just didn’t think I could be without my car that long and get my car up there. But I didn’t have to worry about that.
God provided a car for me to drive for free. My brother has an extra car right now. He said I could drive it while mine was in the shop.
My dad followed me up to Ellijay to drop off the car.
The adjustor came out, wrote up an appraisal, and I have a check.
The car is being repaired now. My brother’s car is in the driveway.
I have to pay a citation too. But I know God will give me what I need when I need it. I have a pretty good hunch that the book royalty check that I get every six months, the one that came in last weekend’s mail, will probably just enough to cover that cost.
I feel alive right now. I feel God’s hand guiding me. I hear His voice. And I can write. Something I haven’t been able to do for a while—mostly because I didn’t have anything to say.
So for this neurotic perfectionist, an accident, a mistake two weeks ago was just what this walking dead man needed to feel alive for a few days.
God has given me just what I needed, when I needed it. Nothing more, nothing less. And each day, I’ve had to lean into Him to see what He’s going to do next.
I know lots of people have bigger issues going on in their lives than a fender bender that brings them to this place. And I don’t mean to equate my one moment with someone else’s tragedy. But I know for me, this is huge. I hope it continues.
Well, not the accidents. I think State Farm is only going to be so gracious. Plus my brother might read this and I’m driving his car.
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