the words of tim walker

the unpost

hey, parent, i saw that stream of posts about your kid’s accomplishments.
yeah, we’re excited too. you’ve got a great kid.
we’re big fans.

congrats on that little league trophy.
on making the team.
on that dance recital—she looked so beautiful.
on that college scholarship.
on that report card—wow, all As.

those are great.
woo hoo.

i know you’re proud of your kid, but all us parents know there’s more to the story, isn’t there?
we just can’t talk about it on social media.

but we can get real here.

there are some days when we would love to vent on social media about the less than great moments.
there are times when we can’t post because we didn’t win the game.
or our kid failed a class.
or the dance recital just didn’t go well.

as much chatter as there is on social media, there’s just some things that are not being said.
and i don’t even think we should say them online.
we don’t want to crush our kids, or give a hint of shaming.

but when you’re scrolling through that and see a post from that seemingly perfect family who never seem to be as messy as yours, just know there are million images and comments in those parents’ heads that they would never post.

things like:
“just got another eye roll and unsolicited comment from mr. middle school. this family night is turning out to be so much fun.”
“daughter awkwardly danced tonight. it’s not her thing, but she so thinks it is.”
“son lost the game tonight. we could have been district champs.”
“no scholarship for us. we’re scrapping together funds and applying for loans.”

we get it. we know.
we know that sometimes your angel isn’t so angelic.
or that sometimes you wonder if you are doing this parenting thing right, or even okay.
we know that sometimes you just don’t want to be around your kid.
and sometimes you can’t bear to be apart from them.
we get it.

this parenting thing is a crazy ride.
and there are some amazing highs, and some heart-stopping lows.

so even thought we all post and tweet one part of that story, we all know there’s more to it.
we’ve got great kids. just some days, they act less than great.
some days they make our heart stop—with a word, an action.

some days we are trying to remind ourselves of that because it’s difficult to see—either online or in real life.

but regardless of whether you get a like, a comment, a heart for you or your kid, you deserve an award for those things you will never post.

i want to give you a trophy for the way you handled that tantrum in the grocery store.
i want to give you a “like” for realizing that a failed history class wasn’t because you didn’t turn in the work, it was because your teenager didn’t.
i want to give you a big cheer because you juggled the busy little league season.

because through the good, the bad and the heart-breaking, remember this—God entrusted this child to you. you got this.

keep fighting for their heart. keep trusting God with their lives. keep making the hard choices.

we don’t all get accolades, but we all know what it’s really like, whether we post it or not.
the contents on this site are ©2015 tim walker. all rights reserved. for permission to reprint or publish this content elsewhere, please contact me through this blog. (i usually say “yes.”)


image courtesy of flickr.com/creative commons/by jeremy brooks

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