there’s a lot going on in my life right now. i know i’m not an anomaly, nor am i asking for sympathy. just laying a foundation for a blog post.

some days it hits me harder than others.

the other morning, after a long night of heartburn due to my over-indulgence with a mexican rice casserole, i was in pain. i was popping antacids, hoping to find some relief.

but this was something more, and i started getting a little scared.
i have a history of heart disease in my family.
my dad had a heart attack a couple of years ago. at the hospital, while the doctor was talking with my dad and finding out our family’s health history, the doctor turned to me and said, “that doesn’t bode well for you.”

so i was quickly going all fred sanford, wondering if this was the big one.

but it subsided. and it wasn’t a heart attack. just anxiety.
anxiety that decided to pound on my body in an attempt to make me more anxious.

and all of it was one of those “wake up” moments.

i’ve been eating like crazy lately. i love to stress eat. food brings comfort.
i can wrap myself up in a big, warm roll and feel all secure and cozy.
or a pie.
or second or third helpings.
or something fried.

and i realized that i need to take better care of my heart.
i need to start saying “no” more often to fried “fest,” soda and desserts.
i need to get on the treadmill again.

i need to take better care of my heart.
and for that matter, i need to take better care of my heart not only physically, but spiritually.
i need to be more intentional about diving into Scripture every day, which is ironic since my job as an editor sometimes means opening the Bible and verifying information during the day.
but A.W. Tozer said that, “We have become so engrossed in the work of the Lord that we have forgotten the Lord of the work.”
and sometimes “my job” becomes my relationship with Christ. but relationships are meant to be more than obligations.

Proverbs 4:23 says: Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life (NIV).

so i’m going to start taking better care of my heart this next year.
and maybe the weight on me (physically) and the weight on me (emotionally) will begin to lessen.

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