on August 30, i turn 45 years old.
i’m okay with being 45. really.
it’s just, well, it seems to be going really fast.

i can vividly remember my 40th birthday party like it was yesterday, but it was five years ago.

it doesn’t feel like a lot has changed, but that’s not reality.
i have a son how is driving and has only two years of high school left.
i have two more sons who will be teenagers next month.
and i have various reminders that i’m getting older. i realize i’m not old. but i am older.

here are just a few:

• i no longer have super vision. sure, i can see something far away, but if i have to read the print on a bottle of advil, i either need my glasses or one of my boys to read it to me. (teaching those boys to read was one of the best things we ever did!)
• i love technology. i bought the first, way over-priced iPhone. yet instead of upgrading with every new Apple unveiling, i’ve since adopted a new “i’ll use this phone until it doesn’t work anymore” policy. i still love Apple, but it’s a complicated relationship filled with manipulation and flaws.
• i’m fatter. you may not be able to tell it online, but i’m selective about the pictures i post. no shirtless selfies. if you look at pictures when i got married, and pictures of me now, you will think i ate one of my children.
• i have a limit to social media. i can only do so much. sure i get those google plus invites, and click on links to instagram. i’ve even created pinterest and linked in accounts and deleted them. my brain can only keep up with so much, and i find myself being a little more protective of the amount of time i want to put into technology.
• i can see the white scalp of my head through thinning hair.
• i don’t need an alarm clock. i have a bladder that wakes me up.
• i have this great hunger for good stories. whether it’s TV, movies, books, comic books—i just like good characters and good stories. i find myself wanting to watch more older movies on netflix.
• the value of the friends i have has gone up, but the time i have to spend with them at this point in my life has gone down.
• i definitely feel like i’m in the middle. which feeds a lot of neurotic thoughts.
• i care less about what people think, but also care more about where i am and where i’m going.
• i see a generation disappearing. i have one living grandparent. i have aunts and uncles who are no longer living. and with all of that comes a desire to understand more. i want to know more about my family. when i was a kid, i was content to just hear a one or two sentence description of a relative. know i want to hear more of their stories. i used to look forward to family reunions for the food (because my family can cook!) but now i also look forward to learning more about my cousins, their lives, etc. i want to make sure i understand the history of my family. and actually FB has been a huge tool in helping me learn more about them as well.

i’ve always been an old soul. now i’m gaining the body and the mind to match.

for all my 40+ friends, what are some signs you’re getting older? no TMI please. i have to be able to look you in the eye after you post something.

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