the words of tim walker

jolted into reality

image courtesy of flickr.com/creative commons

Yesterday, I was jolted into reality.
Well more like bumped.
I plowed into the back of a car in front of me.
It was my fault, and I felt like an idiot.

So now I have a whole new set of “to dos” to sort through. And my wallet is going to take a hit. Plus my dreams of an iPad are getting further and further away.

But the reality that hit me was that I’m not perfect.

Now I’m painfully aware of that. I’m incredibly self critical. In fact, I would say I’m critical in general. But lately I’ve been extra critical. Assessing everyone’s actions and evaluating them. Constantly thinking what someone “should have done,” and that is synonymous with “how I would have done it.”

Yesterday the finger was pointed back at me, and I was reminded that I don’t always do everything right.

And the most incredible thing was the grace that was given to me.
By my wife and kids who were in the car.
By the guy I plowed into.
(Not by the policeman, since I do have a citation.)
But I realized how others give me so much more grace than I ever give them.

My first instinct is to lash out, react to how something affects me. But their gracious showed me that sometimes we need to react to someone else for how it affects them.

I’m sure this is a lesson I’ll revisit. And while I hate what happened, I needed this. Not the money part. But the lesson.

And I need to start extending more grace. Giving people more the benefit of the doubt. Being concerned less with how something affects me, or more about how something affects them.

To my wife.
To my kids.
To my co-workers.

Yeah, I’m an idiot. But not just for plowing into the back of a Ford Escape. I’m an idiot for not giving to others the same grace that has been given to me.

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2 thoughts on “jolted into reality

  1. I learned that lesson a while back as well. Trying to be, or even sometimes thinking that were prefect isn’t all its cracked up to be. It makes life harder on ourselves and everyone around us.

    Once I stopped trying so hard and beating myself up over most things, life got so much better for me and those around me.

    The days got easer to go through, people got easer to deal with and I started to like myself a little more then I use too. So welcome to easer way of living 😉
    Im glad you and the family are ok…

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