i’ve been a little extra grumpy lately.
yes, grumpier than usual.

i’ve had some extra demands on me both at home and work, and after a while, “mr. servant of Christ” gets tired of serving and grows a little resentful.

so when we got to the fireworks show at my parents’ church on the 3rd of july, i was done.
i had a car full of my kids and their friends, and i was tired of doing anything for anyone.

of course what happens at that point? people still need stuff.
so after getting everyone fed, and then sent off to find their adventures on the church parking lot, i was at a breaking point.

i sat down in the folding nylon chair, and thought of all the extras that had happened in the past few weeks.
extra medical bills.
extra care.
extra work.

my wife and i had decided to sign up our twin boys for a trip to DC with their school for the end of the next school year. we made the decision on faith, trusting that God would provide the large amount of money for the trip.
and it looked like that step of faith was a little foolish at that point.
money that i had hoped would go to the trip was quickly leaking out in other directions.

i was spent. financially. emotionally.

as the dark of night drew near, everyone returned back to the car to watch the fireworks and a voice boomed out over the parking lot.
“and now it’s time for our giveaways.”
when we entered the parking lot of the church earlier that evening, we were given forms to fill out with our personal info, and a chance to win some items. i filled out one form.

i wasn’t really interested in the items, and secretly hoped i wouldn’t win.
a set of grilling tools were given away.
then some football tickets.
free baseball registration.
and then finally, the coveted Big Green Egg. if you don’t know what the Big Green Egg is, it’s an egg shaped grill that is supposed to lock in flavor and considered the ultimate grill by many.
i won it.
yes, they called my name.

our family and friends starting jumping up and down and hollering.
i just stood in stunned silence.

i walked over to the tent to pickup my prize with my dad and brother, and in my head i was thinking, “what in the world am i going to do with this grill?”

as we rolled it back over to the car, i felt so awkward. why did i win this? shouldn’t someone have won it that really wants it?

after about 10 minutes of figuring out how we were going to transport it home, we loaded it up in my parents’ car, and then watched the fireworks.

and as i stared at the night sky with its bursts of color, God spoke to my heart and whispered, “i know this isn’t what you wanted, but you won this so I can show you that I will take care of you. as you serve others, I will take care of you.”

this green egg was more than a grill.
it was provision. God was providing for the boys’ trip.
God was providing for me.

we sold the grill the next day. i posted it on FB, and had a buyer within hours. and while the money didn’t cover the total costs of the trip, it definitely made a dent in the amount due. (i’m curious to see how God will take care of the rest.)

and in the process, God was reminding me that the world doesn’t rest on my shoulders—even if it frequently feels like it does.

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